I like to take people at their word whenever I can, but there's something about "Everything is perfect except our mismatched libidos, therefore I am thinking about cheating" that seems fishy.

Aside from being better at emboldening people's innate bigotry—which he's already done, without even being president—is there any way in which Trump is substantively worse than Cruz or Kasich would have been? Is there anything more harmful he might do if he's elected into office that he hasn't done already?

He's not a cop, so there's a chance they'll find him guilty.

Maybe the robots can figure out how to make a pizza that won't make me shit out my insides.

It is circular logic to state that humans have personhood and personhood means humans. You can't redefine something that isn't grounded in a definition in the first place.

It might be instructive to argue the reasons humans deserve personhood first, without assuming that they automatically have it.

Plus, there are a lot of humans on this very website who basically spend all their time in an underground tunnel.

Human civilization for most of its existence was tribal warfare on the plains. We were pretty hard on each other. Just about every aspect of our lives at the time—health, equality, liberty—was cool except for that.

SJW: check. "They're only going where the money is": check.

*imitates "Take No Prisoners" drum parts with mouth, sadly*

Alternatively, a person with scoliosis expressing his long-held contempt for starship captains with arms growing out of their backs.

My favorite thing about the Conan sketch is that they kept doing it after the actual year 2000.

"That seemed like it would be the final nail in Axanar’s sunglasses case-like space coffin, but the film will live on now that Abrams and Lin have swooped in and saved the day just like Han Solo and Chewbacca during the Battle Of Yavin."

Yes, we're men. Men is what we are, Charlie Brown.

I was just thinking yesterday that the greatest accomplishment of that movie is convincing the audience that an entire roomful of people enjoy Vanilla Ice.

"When the turtles kill me, bury me with my stuff, because you know it's mine."

*Brad Garrett comes in, reads all his cue cards in a rapid monotone, finishes in 30 seconds, leaves*

There's something a bit demeaning about someone telling you they'd rather die than do what you want them to do, and you respond by dangling larger and larger amounts of money in front of them.

It's strange that people tend to group Skyfall in with Casino Royale when Skyfall bears much closer similarities to Spectre.

Yeah, these jokes are all fraudulent. Hey everybody, nobody laugh at the jokes.