It was funny cause I only had like, one serious boyfriend throughout highschool and college. I don’t know what she thought I was doing with the football team or something

NOT EVEN CLOSE and the guy they were worried about was my very, VERY gay friend.

I’m now just starting to realize why I lie to my mother about my relationships. She was that strict WHY IS THAT BOY LOOKING AT YOU WHY IS HE TALKING TO YOU WHERE ARE YOU GOING ARE YOU FUCKING THE NEIGHBOURHOOD type.

........Ohhhhhhhhhh

It has to start with the designers, though. They aren’t making clothes for women of larger sizes, so even if they DO hire bigger models, they won’t be able to do much with size -00000 clothing.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO. Basically the guy gets stuck at the bottom of the pool and his guts get sucked out. He lives though. Which is even worse.

why are you afraid of them? I can understand in general, when I think hard about it they really are kinda unnerving to me as well.

sexual intercourse.

don’t read Chuck Palahniuk’s short story ‘Guts’ in the book Haunted.

am I the only one who is somewhat terrified of those types of pools

THAANK YOOOU

I’m sure it’s lined with silk and unicorn hairs. But with my chub rub I’d leave little trails of glitter everywhere I go...

WOW NOW I REALLY WANT THEM.

Besides. without the pants, the jacket is just tacky.

she looks like fire incarnate, it’s amazing

like super edgy Dolly. Alt-Dolly. I like it. I bet she would adore being compared to her as well.

I need that suit. I’d wear it every damn day.

I’m laughing because Helluvagood Dip makes my mother so sick she literally thought she was dying because it was all coming from all ends and now we call it the Shit Dip.

what year is this

LMFAO welcome to my liiiiife

“this looks great, can you use more of this?”
“selective colour?”
“YEH MAKE ALL THE PHOTOS SELECTIVE COLOUR”
*dies inside a bit*

That’s all I get! Horrible browns! Do they even know other eyeshadow colours exist?! I have at least five of the same goddamn eyeshadow colour.

I used to make dandelion stew and steal spices from my moms kitchen.

Note: Dandelion water does not taste any better with celery salt in it.