I feel like Fossilized Erection is more of an EDM, techno band and Dead Arachnid Boner is like, a grunge/pop punk combo with songs like I Bit Your Dad While He Was Sleeping (And Then I Fucked Your Mom)

Jurassic Poke

ok, what should be my new band name.

Fossilized Erection
or
Dead Arachnid Boner

so much cork getting through!!!!

Artisnal Fair Trade Cotton Filtered Wine

A teen who grew up next to the escarpment in the Wine Belt of Ontario HAHAH we started young. plus...cheap as dirt. Not exactly the highest quality, but ten bucks got you drunk.

....you are highly overestimating the amount we wanted wine vs the amount we cares about cork hahahaha

At 17 we generally didin’t care about cork chunks even though we were usually drinking straight from the bottle and in the middle of a forest with no chance of straining. We had to use what we had on hand which was.....

TEETH. NATURES STRAINERS.

LMFAO THIS IS FANTASTIC

Honestly anyone with enough common sense would look at this woman like she was from

YOU MONSTER

you risk getting chunks of cork floating in your wine, though. It’s unpleasant.

HE JUST WANTS HIS COOKIE, DAMNIT

i fucking love this

KONSPIRACY

I know I can’t talk cause Canada has a pretty fucky voting process too but

wat

sorry I find Danny Devito more attractive than Pencil Badger and Dax Shep combined.

LOVELY.

every time you drink a glass of water, you are killing countless fish by consuming their natural habitat.

save the fish. drink bourbon.

unless I am working out, I literally don’t realize when I am thirsty until I get a splitting headache.