In the US you can also text Crisis Text Line at 741741 if you feel more comfortable texting

If you’re in the US and are thinking of taking your own life, call 1-800-273-8255 (the National Suicide Prevention Hotline).

I enjoyed the heck out of all 24 hours of it, to be honest.

This is a very gentle, amusing hoax that hurt no one and I congratulate them both.

Also there is no such thing as early April Fools’; you get April 1 and that is it.

It’s also kind of bad ass that in an industry obsessed with youth, a 46 year old woman just went to #1.

I still listen to Tragic Kingdom regularly. It really is a good album that has held up very well.

That she found a much older man isn’t the story here. It’s that the much older man happens to be Jon Lovitz. And that they teased out the big reveal over several meticulously crafted Instagram posts.

How dare she push for something that she was contractually entitled to, how dare she. I’m sure she probably was an asshole in other ways, but I’m on her side in not letting them slide on those ones.

@Guillermo: One of the worst feelings is when you’re the one who picked the movie and everybody is obviously hating it. Sighing and squirming and giving you in the dark side eye.

Roman… I guess naming the other one “Woody” would’ve ruined his reputation as the reigning king of subtlety.

Add making me side with Fox News to the reasons I hate Donald Trump.

See y’all on Wonkette.com and The Toast? That, or I’ll have to spend my workdays doing my job or reading books or whatever.

Some just out of college bro marketing coordinator just lost his job.

But only the “online” program.

Hard Knocks, baby!

#SquidGoals

I realize this comment relates to one of the least interesting parts of this dog-and-pony show, but:

Noooooooo. Affliction shirts and leather wrist cuffs should not be donated.

Shit no, rarely does a public high school kid make it into an IVY league school. It’s not like stars hollow even had AP programs.