Seriously. That and that humblebrag ass thrift store one. Jesus. “So the fry cook and I saunter over to the 1950's garage and the gentleman confesses to the murder. Quite an odd morning I suppose, but what a great haul!”

Guyyyysss, who approved the Ouija board story?

I loved Melwithoutdiner5's story this year. I love that it seems like just a creepy person at first, but then quickly moves into the inhuman/impossible realm. 

This story isn’t scary, and there are so many other stories on here that I doubt anyone will read it...but it IS true, I wanted to share it somewhere, and folks in my normal life would probably roll their eyes, so...

Back in the early 2000s I moved in with a now ex-boyfriend. He lived in a bungalow style house in one of the neighborhoods of a large midwestern city. This happened when I was taking a personal day from work after moving in to finish getting things arranged and unpacked.

Since the celebs covered pretty much decades, even going back to Rose-Marie from The Dick Van Dyke Show, apparently you just want to brag about not paying attention to the world for your entire life.

Very few people are entirely 100% blind. I’m completely blind on my left eye and have 20/200 vision in my right and I often just use the “blind” shorthand for myself. I know a lot of people who can only see light and color and refer to themselves as blind. I think we should all leave Stevie Wonder alone.

I’ve told this story a lot but never in Kinja so I’ll share it here: I had to play “My Heart Will Go On” on the trumpet in 5th grade and it was real torture.

I don’t really have anything to add to this except that Cole and his brother’s twitter exchanges are effing hilarious and made me a fan of his even before I started watching Riverdale. In which his character is the BEST. Fight me, Archie fans!

Not lying, these are probably her best pics.

French press tried “it’s not shocking, it doesn’t matter, in France we are more evolved than you puritans” but still published them like “look at her TITS!” So fuck these people. Humans should be allowed to exist without being fapped over.

Yes! I am all over this. Is it just me, or is Kumail the cutest but no one talks about how he’s the cutest?

Hoe, but make it fashion is definitely my favorite too. I feel like Smizing is everyone’s go-to but the former gem is even more specific and non-sensical.

“on one issue”

I really don’t get people crapping on Anne Hathaway. She’s always seemed so intelligent; kind; well-spoken; humble; NOT assholelish at all. Maybe she seemed a bit pretentious for a hot minute there, I guess? But, like, who gives a crap. That’s pretty harmless, in the grand scheme of things.

Oh god he’s chanting “U.S.A!” in his tweets.

In fairness, she did say she was there to remind you of the mess you made since you went away.

Whew, glad we got that sorted! So nice to know where you stand on Mischa Barton.

From my understanding, Mike Pence never dines alone with a T. Rex.