Indeed. To quote my long-suffering clinical instructor, “*heavy sigh*... Guys. You can’t chart “pussy”. Again, the word is purulent.”

Dude! I bought a mega bottle of Kenra Glossing Drops from Ulta, got it home, and went to use it... Pump, pump, pump... Nothing.

I fully dig this. I feel the same way about riding horses. It’s not really a life skill in the way your swimming is, but I highly suspect that I’d be far more socially impaired than I already am had I not learned to “read” horses early on. They taught me how to be assertive and capable, as well as the value of a…

Yes and no. In the course of my training (corrections nurse), we were indeed taught to recognize forms of manipulation/malingering, but with the caveat of “99% may be bullshit, but you can’t rule out the 1% that might be legit, so do the right thing for the circumstances regardless.”

As I’ve probably mentioned on here before, I’m a corrections nurse. It’s the very best/worst, but it’s my chosen niche and I have no desire to do anything else.

Yup. To steal a line from one of my favorite songs ever: “Evil don’t look like anything.”

That’s awesome! All hail the magic of kittehs :-).

I second your opinion that children can see “beyond”, as well as the very old.

This was my first thought as well. The prefix idio- appears frequently in medicalese and I imagine (actual) idiots like that poster assume they’re being insulted on the regular.

Preach. I lived in Big Spring for a couple years, and a flurry once resulted in my being the only one who showed up at work “because the roads are bad.”

To answer your questions (sorta), a) no, pork is generally always included, and b) I don’t believe there’s peanut oil involved, but I could be wrong.

It’s the most amazing soup on earth. My mother (whose HSS addiction is rivaled only by my own) and I literally judge Chinese restaurants solely on their soup-making. They could fail every health inspection from now until forever and we’d still go there if their soup was on point.

I worked with someone like that. She would follow the rules with a vengeance, especially so if she could make someone miserable by doing so. (She’s a nurse.)

Just had to say that I really love your way with words. If you ever write a book, I’ll buy it. Pinkie promise :-).

My high school marching band did something like that, completely on accident.

My mother has an explicit funeral plan: A coffin with a timer set for ten minutes, during which she expects wailing and gnashing of teeth grieving. When said minutes elapse, coffin timer goes “ding!”, confetti shoots out, and a full-on hoedown hootenanny commences. Fiddles are non-negotiable.

Although I’d like to use it for its functional purpose of baby growin’ someday, the thought of my uterus walking the earth a la Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction is also pretty appealing.

That logic reminds me of an argument I had with a NURSE at work over the potential purchase of breast pumps to allow breastfeeding mothers who are arrested to pump and dump and/or send home with a visitor for baby. I made various points about dignity, ensuring they didn’t stop producing while they awaited release,…

They really are, but it seemed like they were especially thick at my folks’ place! Our neighbors were a lovely older lady couple who refused to let anyone hunt on their property. The deer seemed to somehow know that, so it was like year-round whitetail Spring Break there. They were so sure of themselves that they…

Dude... Idiocracy was truly a documentary.