Congrats Ash... for that, I give you a couple of ceiling lamps for your bedroom...

Vice versa. Pineapple is the sweaty taint of fruit, and ranch dressing is god’s gift to vegetables.

Fuck pineapple. It is the ranch dressing of fruit.

Naked Gun is the best non-sports sports movie.

Except when you’re talking about engine swaps. Then, carry on.

You could probably manage a 5hp shot, which you could save money and achieve by using the N2O canisters from whipped cream cans.

That’s one Funky Chad Mesina.

The Blaze is the “media network” that Glenn Beck started when Fox shitcanned him. Essentially this woman works for Glenn Beck.

This reminds me of that meme I saw about how you shouldn’t say to your children, “see, this is why you stay in school” when you see blue-collar workers, because it teaches your children to devalue blue-collar workers instead of to value education...

If you don’t have an exfoliating wash cloth, like the kind Auntie Esther uses at the Korean spa in the communal shower, then you are washing wrong. You can just throw those suckers into the washing machine too.

As a 2 wheeled motorist, it sure sounds like lanespiitting is making you a more aware and focused 4-wheeled motorist. Good.

If you’re lucky! I watch those commercials with Mr. M and we’re like, “Who the fuck has time for this many picnics and baths?”

When I was 26, it meant “do you get drunk and then have sex with strangers?”

...nothing more annoying than getting an earful of that obnoxiously loud engine sound rumbling past you while sitting in traffic.