Or that time his father bought him the services of an African American man.

Kal Penn’s character has to deal with mortality in the gritty sequel, Harold and Tumor.

I’m glad I don’t live in this neighborhood anymore.

The worst Lost Boys sequel:

Forget they ever happened. It’s best that way.

Didn’t you read the article? People are already worshipping its action figures on an altar. Of course it’s fucking good!

Chris Rock being asked to return to the Oscars is like The A.V. Club expecting the commentariat to stick around after the Kinjapocalypse.

It’s the lack of thetans. Your teeth could be that blue if you hadn’t walked out of your E-meter reading.

I can’t believe the guy who pitches reverse mortgages to old people where he says “This is not a scam” in the commercial would do anything untoward like that.

We’re hearing how it was a sick ostrich.

TEMPTING CANCERAIDS IN A NEWS ITEM ABOUT SOMEONE WHO DIED OF CANCER IS NOT A GOOD LOOK.

Rashomon was made into The Outrage.

Did you watch any of it? All they did was sit around!

Ouch! I burned myself on your hot take!

It’s such a vague term. How could we possibly guess who she means?

It’s funny because I hope he fucking dies.

They eventually recycled that idea:

I think the point is just that he has a whole bowl of breakfast bars set out for all the special ladies who inevitably find themselves popping into his dining room to get paid early in the morning.

Now apologise for the dialogue...homeskillet.