I remember my mom putting on makeup when I was little (she wasn’t as into it as I am but I do remember it being part of her daily routine) and I didn’t care attttt alllll. I have always told her that her appearance isn’t everything, she just believes what she wants! Sometimes I view her as this little vessel that my…

YES!

I’m obviously biased but I would say that she’s very adorable, haha. And honestly I believe that she will be conventially beautiful when she gets older, I just haaate seeing her critical of her appearance!

Haha thank you! Our Berner is just the SWEETEST! I have a 4 year old and he is SO good with her. So is the Pomeranian actually! And they are absolutely best friends. And yesss I love King of the Hill! It’s so funny and clever without being... gross like Family Guy, you know? I’m not prude and I LOVE South Park but I…

Hahahahaha! Ok that gave me a much needed smile and laugh!

I’ve read bad things about long term use of PPIs for GERD. But I take 300mg of Zantac every night and hope for the best. I’ve also had surgery for GERD which was... intense.

I love dog instagrams, hahaha! I don’t go so far as to try and type like it’s actually my dogs running the account but they’re just so cute I have to share their pictures! I chose their names based on King of the Hill characters, haha.

Thanks for the reassurance! I think he’s being unfair too and I think we probably need to go to counseling because I think he’s really holding this against me!

Here are my boys Hank and Bill swimming at the local dog park! They can also be found on instagram at instagram.com/hankandbill because I am one of those people.

I’m so sorry! I’m sending you some good vibes! I got a terrible tattoo removed and this was way back in the day before the technology was as good as it is now. It was just a nightmare- FAR more painful than childbirth. But it’ll be gone soon because tattoo lasers are awesome!

Good for him for getting clean and even more good for you for being such a supportive and amazing spouse. I wish they didn’t make drug treatment such a goddamn ordeal in this country. I hope things get much better for you soon!

Jane Eyre is still on my list but I read Wuthering Heights not too long ago and damn, that book is fucked up! Hahaha! You know what classic was surprisingly amazing? War and Peace. Took me months to finish it but I absolutely loved it!

My daughter’s only Harry Potter experience so far is watching the first movie, but she is SO obsessed with it! I can’t wait until she’s a little older and I can read the books to her and we can watch all of the other movies. She’s also been begging me to take her to Harry Potter World at Universal and my parents and I…

Been there done that, group projects are the fucking WORST. Seriously, fuck “learning how to work together because you’ll have to do that in the real world.” No. Just so much no.

Girl parent Jezzies- at what age did your child start becoming concerned with their appearance?

Who would have been more disturbed if the woman had killed her dog and fed it to her husband? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, me either. Uh...

One of my favorite pasttimes is to read the Facebook comments on Onion articles because there are always a few people who don’t understand that the Onion is satire and they get so worked up. Classic.

Is there any way to enjoy fries that is not both quick and aggressive?

This was well-written and funny, and if you guys want to be BFFS4EVA with me and do an article about the local Chilis in my suburban Colorado neighborhood I am so down.

And you know this guy is going to get like, 30 years in prison and will be released before he’s too decrepit to commit more hideous crimes- and will then commit more hideous crimes.