Well, we know if Ben said he didn't do something, we should take him at his word.

This is the correct answer. Submissions are now closed.

I’m going to be selfish and put Virginia Tech over Florida State at the 2000 Sugar Bowl.

All children's cartoons that aren't Phineas and Ferb should be shot into the sun to make room for more Phineas and Ferb.

I haven't ever had unintended interactions with a mirror, but when I was around 12 I walked into the glass wall of a mall Zales so hard I gave myself a concussion.

And you have fun with four years of the stupid one being president because taking a stand was more important than holding your nose and being an adult.

Would 9/11 have still happened, though? Would the intelligence warning of an impending attack have been mishandled the same way in a Gore presidency?

God, Trump is going to win this election and it's going to be entirely our own fault for letting it happen.

I watch GoT, but made the conscious decision to not read the books so I could enjoy the show as only a show on TV. I understand logically that a book and the adaptation of that book are two separate works and should be enjoyed independently of each other, but I am not capable of doing that ever.

If Simmons’ show leads to a regular Thursday column that’ll fill the shitter time that’d go to the Jamboroo during football season, I’ll schedule the season DVR recording right now.

Hate disproportionate to what has been done to deserve it is sort of Drew’s thing. Which is fine. Simmons’ generic takes are his thing, and that’s also fine.

My takeaway was that people are dropping $200k with a 20% chance they don’t get anything to show for it.

That actual footage was as pleasing as the presentation of said video was terrible.

I’d have guessed Johnny was a “should of” type.

State flags are nothing, people here in Wichita are strangely in love with out CITY flag. I didn’t even know that was a fucking thing. I’d lived here for more than 7 years, seen the damn thing all over the place, and just assumed we had an overabundance of strangely proud Methodists or some shit. Nope. City flag.

Hockey is what would happen if you took all of the grace and visible* skill out of soccer and put it on ice.

Chyna always seemed like someone who got chewed up by the system and then was left to deal with the aftermath on her own. If her time in the business had come a little earlier or a bit later, she probably would have gone down as one of the legends of pro wrestling, but she hit at probably the worst possible moment,…

You had me at "sleeping with Hermione from Harry Potter."

He seems like he’s having so much fun, I didn’t want to break that to him. Or that in most states “I totally did this thing once” isn’t sufficient evidence to bring charges for a misdemeanor. It’s why pictures or video of someone smoking a blunt doesn’t bring charges.

I’ll see your clock watching in school and raise you clock watching at the Post Office, where everything operates on a 100-click hour. There aren’t many worse sensations than being 12 hours into a 12.5 hour day, seeing -.50 on the clock and briefly forgetting that doesn’t mean there’s only 10 more minutes until you…