The last time Star Wars got creative, we got Jar Jar, midiclorians, and nearly 8 hours essentially all about the galactic senate. Fuck that entirely.

Isn’t the problem here that the “right way” is to wipe them the fuck out? Their stated purpose is insurrection, and the “right way” to respond to that isn’t to pat them on the head and pretend nothing happened.

If they wanted to die they'd have brought a black teenager.

A college football team isn’t a faceless entity.

I’m not sure I follow how it’s not pathetic of OU. If the premise is that they’re fine with having a player who punched a woman in the face since nobody saw the footage, but wouldn’t be if the footage was readily available, that is incredibly pathetic.

Getting away with it is definitely easier.

If a musician other than Jim Johnston belongs in the Hall of Fame, it's Motorhead.

I'm guessing most of us wouldn't survive living one day like Lemmy.

“punk rock snob phase, in the depths of which I interrogated the aesthetic and ideological purity of pretty much every record I listened to.”

I’m always suspicious of shit like this. It’s just such a huge fucking mistake to make, so many hugely unlikely things have to happen, and Occam’s Razor being what it is, I have a hard time taking it at face value.

There is literally nothing to physically identify that person as a woman.

I could see it being a personality thing. Most of us know someone who can’t wipe their ass without a bullet-pointed checklist. I agree that the level of detail is excessive, but I also know from experience that something as simple as “a brown purse” can quickly turn into three hours at Von Maur trying to find just the…

You seem fun.

I was expecting much worse from the 21 year old’s list. Her taste in basically every form of media is questionable, but what 21 year old doesn’t have garbage taste?

My mother-in-law’s name is Marvadeen, which in no fucking way is happening. This is our 8th year interacting, and I think I’ve said her name exactly once. I just mutter in her direction, and when she asks what I said, I use that to start a conversation. It works surprisingly well.

I'm guessing the combined birthday/Valentine's Day gift only happens once.

I was really concerned, given the ubiquity of the damn thing in every form possible, that BB-8 was going to be this movie’s Jar Jar (annoyingly oversaturated, blatant money grab). Fortunately, he’s far closer to Wall-E, which is the best a robot can aspire to in my book.

I can't remember the last time a single moment in a movie filled my heart with that much joy.

Hell, just the potential that he might eat his teammates should be enough to get a call from Jerry.

I have three nephews who live nearby, and they are awful, so this year I convinced my wife that we should get them high-end (as these things go) Nerf guns and watch as they shoot the living shit out of each other. I figure a Nerf gun with an effective range of 100’ will probably be a sonofabitch at the 2’ range…