They're also the least shitty preteens to ever exist. My wife made me watch with her last season, and for the most part, they're all nice little kids. It's unsettling.

Tom Haverford added at least five years on the back of however long it would normally have been.

The gulf between the Facebook and Kinja comments is like moving from Alabama to Seattle. Thanks for not being gutter people, Kinja.

They save a ton of money by constructing baseball carbons and just letting them turn into diamonds when this kid takes the field.

The fuck is Liberia trying to pull?

Hard to believe that gentleman would’ve had cause to be photographed by a law enforcement agency.

Freshman year of high school, a group of my friends and I got together for one of our birthdays at the local pizza place and hung out for most of the day, shooting pool and just generally dicking around in that way you can only really manage as a teenager. There were six of us, and we worked through four large pizzas…

Which role is less likely to kill me? Gotta think a destroyer is safer than a fighter jet.

I feel bad about clicking the star for that.

A year or so ago, I had to go to the free clinic for an emergency tooth extraction. After waiting five hours with the kind of pain that makes you intermittently silent cry, I finally get called back and wait another 30 minutes for the “dentist” to show up. We do the x-ray, which is fucking nearly unbearable and,…

Sterling is too old to be named after Archer, which is the only acceptable reason to name a real human person Sterling.

My nephew is named Kale, and he’s shaping up to be a real prick.

This deserved far more stars than it got.

Well yeah. Mayweather is a professional boxer, and Drew’s a writer. Neither of them can do what the other does.

I’d rather people do it correctly than holding their hands through software. I’m tired of the solution to people fucking up being to just change what it means to do it right.

I was hoping nobody had said this yet. You win this day.

The general size of that is disturbing, obviously, but I find myself unsettled by how big its head is.

How this is still a problem in 2015 escapes me. Apple is all about aesthetics, why not make video recording only work in landscape? Either by not recording, or, ideally, by self-destructing the phone when the user tries to shoot video in portrait.

He can probably hide at least two crab legs under each tit.