You know our voters will eventually replace him with another one, though.

The only song I know is Single Ladies. I don’t like that song. I don’t have any strong feelings one way or the other about Beyonce. Maybe that just makes me confused about why other people love her so much. I don’t get it but maybe I’m just old.

He could use a dictionary, too.

He would be labeled a communist today.

They’re only eradicating polio for the CORPORATIONS!!!

I’m telling you, he got his talking points from the same place Trump does.

As a white guy, I can confirm that this is directed at my demographic. My extended family’s FB status updates are my evidence. They love this shit.

Almost every time.

Nothing. Unless you’re the no hands guy. That says you’re probably a sociopath and strangle kittens in your free time.

Diamond and Silk were a major topic on Fox & Friends this morning (don’t judge - it was on the TV in front of my treadmill at the gym). Ted Cruz is just keeping his finger on the pulse of America and discussing the issues that matter!

I’ll bite. Give me some suggestions of foods that you can buy as cheaply that are easy to prepare in a short amount of time, don’t require much kitchen space, and will feed a family.

They look like an electoral map. As shitty as Mississippi is, Alabama wants it as a neighbor.

You think a heart attack is a “blaze of glory?” You’ve set the bar pretty low there.

On top of that, if you’ve got kids to feed, are you going to buy beets for $4 a bunch or buy 8 boxes of mac & cheese?

Counterpoint: You clearly don’t understand the challenges that come with being poor.

Stay brave. You are not alone.

He’s only an Englishman by birth. He’s a Missourian. No one wants that taste left in his mouth.

It is awful to watch. That’s why we need to see it. That’s why we need to show our kids.

God knows everything. He just didn’t feel like telling us yet - it would have spoiled the surprise!

Worst sex ed class ever.