#FreeMelania

I was planning on marathoning West Wing with maybe a break for a screening of All The President’s Men. But now I’m thinking about going to a rally at Bayfront Park.

I’m going to see Louis CK in Portland “Little Beirut” Oregon. Should be weird.

Inauguration day is my late father-in-law’s birthday. He would have been 72. So Mrs. Funk, her mother, and I will be doing what he would have wanted us to do: Getting shitfaced drunk, listening to Al Green, and not watching the inauguration.

I think Abby Hoffman once had a plan for everyone to ruin america by flushing their toilets at the moment Nixon took the oath. Currently sounds like a good idea.

I call bullshit. Everyone knows that the only real ethnic slur for a white person is “racist.”

I was about to make some “they should change their name to Bitch Cop” snark..

Release the damn tapes before January 20 or hush, child.

Can I just be really superficial and say I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is about him, but I just find Brad Pitt very unattractive. I was never crazy about him when he was younger, but I could see why others might be. And it’s not like he looks really old now either, he’s aged pretty well and heck many men…

For god’s sake, seal those records for the sake of the children! But if you don’t, I’ll be back to read ‘em. Nomnomnom.

What blows my mind are the complaints from customers. I’ve had conversations with several different people who complain about unsmiling service employees and I’m just like “why do you even care??” And they act like I’m the unreasonable one.