That first Opel’s slightly rotated headlights are irking the hell outta me...

Underrated

I love those barriers!

Underrated comment is underrated

On the other hand, my ‘95 Integra is tarnished beauty!

‘Twas Hammond that broke down, and I was on the gotdamn floor after that joke. Oh my god he burned the hell outta him!

Speak for yourself, I’m packing quite a log.

Needs more wood

Just realized I’ve been putting bleach on my pasta for nearly two decades...

OH HAI GUISE

I logged onto Jalopnik for this? He should stick to log cabins.

Pretty sure that’s a Morgan, bro.

Go reread the OP

That’s on you for expecting Titanic to be an action movie. If the movie poster had an explosion on it, I could maybe understand.

In my opinion, cars with worse handling make for more interesting car chases.

Pedant correction: *Charger

Isn’t a molten katana rendered useless?

I think the real news here is that Nissan has discovered quantum entangled levitation. Of course—being Nissan—they’ve immediately put their discovery to use to mount a central speaker.

Hey now, you throw enough Mormons in that car and it’ll be as gripping as the story of Joseph Smith!