You’re reporting is keeping me sane. Because I know I’m not the only one who feels like it has been years but in reality it’s only 117 fucking days.

Scott Disick. Bella Thorne.

Scott Disick and Bella Thorne? Makes total sense. Or, in the words of Spock,

My mom is 70 years old... if some smug bitch did this to her, I swear to god I would beat her senseless.

When this happened I felt visceral vicarious shame as a fat person who goes to the gym. I couldn’t bring myself to go into the locker room for weeks. Fuck this woman and her sorry excuses.

I know I’m an Old, but no love for Gorillaz?

I could fully believe she started doing it for the money, but Kellyanne has drunk the Kool aid. She could have got out after the election or after the inauguration yet she’s still around. She can’t be getting paid that much.

I’m more upset about the idea of no more Melissa McCarthy skits.

Harry’s hair is magical, no matter the length.

Hot take.

‘And it’s not because I want to sell records!” she insists.’

tfw you’re done using black culture for profit and moving onto your Colbie Caillat phase.

the ban is not a ban

“and was part of a plan created by Ocean to ruin his father’s movie career.”

She utterly destroyed Ted Cruz, which was satisfying to watch. Evidently Harvard Law and Princeton can’t teach their students common sense.

“I was trying to explain that all hospitals are required by law to treat patients in need of emergency care regardless of their ability to pay and that the Republican plan does not change that,”

Vive le France! We drove the Nazis out 72 years ago. No way in hell are they coming back.

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuck iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Nazi fucks.

Yes for Newsies!!

OK. Listen. I know everyone (except Yetta and Tallblonde) is going to pop in here talking about how you’re not falling in love with Harry. You’re going to list all sorts of reasons. On one hand, count yourself lucky not to have become ensorcelled by this alien in his inescapable web of fascination and dimples.…