It’s so frustrating whenever these clueless dads think they deserve a medal for acting like, you know, a parent.

Tough shit. I’m tired of being Captain Save-a-Ho to the rest of the knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing country. It’s not MY job to drag you kicking and screaming into the 20th century.

“My crowd was bigger than Obama’s in ‘09 if you take out the people who were at his inauguration illegally.” - Donald Trump

I did Nazi that coming.

The only KKK documentary I want to watch is the one that shows them all being rounded up, packed into titanium alloy drums filled with graphite-doped concrete, and dropped into the Mariana Trench.

Katie is the worst for being an alcoholic rage monster in complete denial who is willing to emotionally abuse her boyfriend to ignore the problem. DJ James Kennedy is the worst because he is James Kennedy (although these lines about women wanting water and cake he can’t provide them makes me concerned he doesn’t…

Vote for me and I’ll make your wildest dreams come true!

This isn’t really in response to you, but I don’t want to reply to the people who are actually saying this shit, and your comment is tangentially related:

It’s a long shot that it will even change anything.

I’m firmly against this move, but it’s because I’m firmly against the draft regardless of gender.

My holiday card this year says “Happy Holidays” in ten different languages and I’m giving them to all my miserable Republican neighbors along with $25 donated to “liberal” causes in their names.

I am incredibly grateful that no one gave me that kind of platform at 24. Yikes.

I have to laugh that it’s always the left labeled special snowflakes when grown ass adult Trump supporters are fighting with Broadway, Starbucks and Kelloggs all at once. Boycott Froot Loops and Pop-Tarts!

She’s Ann Coulter’s MiniMe, except instead of smelling like stale cigarette smoke and Chardonnay, she smells of Mystic Tan fumes.

#whitepeoplenames

Balthazar? Axel? Afton? That’s quite enough now, please stop.

I’m pretty sure the common thread here is marijuana. The employees got freaked out by a customer and hid in the back: high. Dude goes to CVS in the middle of the night looking for cheese and spends 45 minutes wandering around the store: high.

nah