Nah, every couple years Ben Roethlisberger walks into Best Buy and goes up to the Geek Squad and says, “Does my computer get all the best porn?” And proceeds to spend $4k or so on high end components and a guy to assemble a custom porn rig for him.

From a town known as Oyster Bay, Long Island . . .

Ben Roethlisberger has at least 3 treadmills in his house that are still in the original packaging.

This is a very apt comparison. Much like a cooking haggis, for a while there Ben just kind of lazed around getting fatter, but eventually the casing couldn’t contain it any more, and the douchebag inside started oozing out for everyone to see.

God help us when the inbred Yinzer crew realizes that having a player named JuJu on the team means they can invent some horribly antisemitic chants and, taking cues from their inimitable orange Lord and Savior, deny that they’re antisemites and say that the real problem is the Fake News Media is too sensitive.

Thankfully someone popped in a tape of the NFC Championship Game before Drew had an aneurysm.

The job of a reporter isn’t to just parrot bullshit PR talking points, the job of a reporter is to place them into some kind of context so that the reader can judge their validity for her or his self.

Brady can’t catch. Maybe if he tries hard enough, practices every day, and drinks his milk, he’ll one day be as good as Nick Foled.

Pat Neshek, the hard-luck loser

True, but things are so much different now. Fantasy football and, soon, straight up gambling on football are everywhere. Red Zone channel lets you ignore the 95% of the game that you don’t care about and watch teams score TDs. As a fan, 2 Sundays a season without your team playing was horrible back in the ‘90s. Now,…

What tipped you off? Was it the bankruptcies? Or the fact that everyone who comes in contact with him signs non-disclosure agreements forbidding them from talking about how much (little) money he has?

Schefter’s “reporting” lacks any context with which one could reasonably conclude that this is a slap in the face and that rich assholes need to stop being rewarded for being rich assholes.

When we find out in 20 years that injecting Twitter into our brains every morning immediately upon waking causes both depression and brain cancer, I’m gonna be super-pissed that I gave up smoking. Walking outside for a smoke was way more satisfying.

Bread is a meal. The best meal. A baguette and beer and maybe a little cheese? Oh fuck yes.

Clay Travis can’t write, and that’s why this site fired him.

He intentionally mispronounced it as “coochie-catcher” too, and thought it was the most hilarious and clever thing anyone ever thought of.

She remains deeply unpopular with both the “stick to sports” crowd and the “black people are the real racists” crowd—that Venn diagram is nearly a perfect circle

You basically just described Rams fans as cricket fans.

You mean the one that detailed, at length, the circumstances surrounding her abuse in the first several paragraphs of the story, and how her abuse was swept under the rug? That story?

I hate to break it to Second Trevor, but his wife was gonna leave him anyways, eventually.