Goddammit man, the Wagyu has turned you into the kind of pretentious ass that credits photos to himself in his own story. I assure you, the provenance of the photo of the smoker with the giant duke on it was never in doubt.

Weird, I just moved them up to #299. Take that, East St. Louis!

Mike Pence probably eats unsalted french fries.

When Peyton Manning makes the Colts hire John Schnatter for some bullshit job, the state of Indiana won’t even bat an eyelid.

Mother does not approve of your salty language, Drew.

I swear to christ I have been saying WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS WHO CAME UP WITH THIS ONE!? for twenty fucking years. It’s like the 37th funniest sketch Sandler ever did, and that’s not because Adam Sandler is particularly funny. I had to finally stop saying it because nobody ever fucking got the reference and now my life…

Be Best.

“Heywood’s a convicted felon, isn’t he Monty?”