Mike Pence probably eats unsalted french fries.

When Peyton Manning makes the Colts hire John Schnatter for some bullshit job, the state of Indiana won’t even bat an eyelid.

Mother does not approve of your salty language, Drew.

I swear to christ I have been saying WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS WHO CAME UP WITH THIS ONE!? for twenty fucking years. It’s like the 37th funniest sketch Sandler ever did, and that’s not because Adam Sandler is particularly funny. I had to finally stop saying it because nobody ever fucking got the reference and now my life…

Be Best.

“Heywood’s a convicted felon, isn’t he Monty?”