This guy was taught that maleness is earned through sexual agency and—failing that—violence. We enter our sons into a heteronormative process on these vile terms. It’s no surprise that young men who fail to meet unrealistic standards for gender would become violent towards each other, violent towards women, and…

As the resident Paul Bunyan in many of my relationships, please don't do that. It's pretty condescending and infantilizing. I'm on to people who do it, and it makes me feel manipulated, and honestly, rather angry.