Nice to know that I haven’t reached absolute rock bottom yet.

Bless your heart.

“I’m glad they died”

I love how “escape rooms” are trending and getting all this positive news after five Polish girls were just burned alive in one.  Media is weird as fuck.

The best line is when Bruce Willis is sitting downstairs and he says something like, “Do you want to go to [whatever that Philadelphia train station market is called]” and the off-screen wife replies, “I can’t deal with the Amish today.”

Both my boobs COULD NOT BELIEVE Rosebud was his sled!

Are we sure the Bezos thing isn’t just a two-day ship?

My balls aren’t even that big...

Don’t feel bad, Kate. My boobs spoiled the twists in The Crying Game and The Sixth Sense.

Obviously her being underage makes it 10 times worse, but pulling a random woman out of the crowd to kiss and fondle is creepy in general

My grandfather had a close friend named Frank when he was a younger man. We assume this is the reason that later in life, he referred to every man he met (i.e. not men he’d known for years and years, or his own sons, etc.) as Frank. He’d ask my dad “How’s Frank?” and my dad would have to figure out who the heck he was…

Let’s be real, AOC doing the Ally Sheedy part only makes me like her more.

It ain’t like she’s boofing.

Exactly. I’ve cleaned rooms and waited on rich people in the past and nothing, NOTHING, killed my soul more than that job. Joan H from NYC, you know who you are!!!!!!!!!!!

From college no less. Dafuq are these clowns on about......

Nothing says "I'm totally not intimidated by a successful and attractive woman, and I am comfortable with my own genitals" like the whole AOC hatefest.

Nick Canon’s perm was Wild n Out.

I could say something about cannibalism as a play-off of my screen name...

Judgey. I like it.

I can’t tell if the existence of Fox’s new singing competition The Masked Singeris proof that we are losing our minds collectively