That reminds me of when I worked as a bank teller one summer in college. During training, they told us, “You’re behind bullet-resistant glass. Bullet RESISTANT, not Bullet PROOF. So if someone comes into the bank with a gun, get down, because after a few bullets, that glass WILL break.”

It’s there because I put it there.

She was born with a silver-plated plastic spoon in her mouth.

He was shocked when she asked to be paid, telling her he thought the money was a gift, not a loan,” the insider said. “He’s a total loser and owes her over $2 million

Set to the soothing vocals of Gordon Lightfoot, obviously.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

What sucks is that to be an adjunct, at least in the US, you need at LEAST a master’s degree, but often a PhD depending on the institution. That is, if you’re not a celebrity with no degree.

Okay, you sadistic bastard. Some chilies can cause chemical burns. The vagina is a vulnerable body part with a delicately maintained ecosystem. Kindly stick that chili in your eye and think about what you've done.

That’s a very astute assessment. I just came here to call her an asshole.

No hate on Angie or the work she does for women’s rights, but as a Normal currently suffering through a PhD I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at this.

This shit happens every fucking day and nothing is changing.

“Here you go Kim, at 4pm est, write the below.
Caption:
I’m legit in the airplane bathroom—gonna take a pregnancy test because I’m having a little bit of a scare. So. No big deal.....but now I know thanks to @FirstResponse protien shake!”


wait.....no

the scare was that she wasn’t getting enough attention.

JENNA BUSH HAGER IS SO BAD ON THE TODAY SHOW. I UNDERSTAND HOW SHE GOT THE JOB BUT LIKE, HOW DID SHE GET THAT JOB? THE WAY SHE SPEAKS KILLS ME

There’s a great bumper sticker -

“I don’t control my fans,but I don’t agree with what they’re doing. I understand what you mean, but there are people out there who maybe went too far. She provoked them.”

She’s a full scholarship student from Kentucky, and a black woman at the School of Engineering, a place where there are not a ton of people who are a) black or b) black women. At 19, I’m assuming she’s also a freshman. SEAS is pretty cut-throat and Columbia undergrad is also not exactly known for their advising…

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.

CARL!!!

Well, bring back the first two seasons anyways.