Pac was himself no slouch as an actor; why watch a bad movie about him when you could watch a good movie WITH him?

In some small semblance of justice, the AP reports that Yanez will soon be out of a job as a police officer.

Fact. For somebody who makes a living as a writer, that was a disastrously imprecise tweet.

So which airline has not brutally beaten its customers yet? I have to book a flight for my mom, and I love her, but she has a bit of a glass jaw.

He aint going nowhere, fam. Just the fact that the judge allowed for the statement to be made shows that everybody involved is trying to destroy Constand’s credibility.

Dammit, now I need a shower. Take your star and go stand in the corner for ten minutes.

Except Trump only has one daughter.

Who did the ceremonial washing of the feet?

“Perjury? I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with the term. I’m just a simple country lawyer. I’m not up to date with your fancy northern legal terminology.”

My one and only problem with this article is the idea that racism has “returned” because of Trump.

The teacher did, obviously

Pretty sure that award is like participation ribbons in sporting events. Every black girl will “win” it.

President Obama didn’t mention his name so that means 45 won’t even realize it was directed at him.

“Just wait a few days, good buddy. This will all blow over in a week. Look, me and the guys took up a donation for you. Here’s a pound of crab legs too, haha. That was O’Donnell’s idea.”

She cosigned that birther shit. That’s all you need to know.

No, stop. Melania is nobody’s mascot. Unless she Lorena Bobbits his ass, fuck her, and even then still fuck her.

Oh lawd, not “soul murder”

I pity whoever wakes up next to James Harden, because there is not an inch of that bed that he didn’t shit all over.

Man fuck Bernie.