Being a big, tall man makes me more masculine, because those are typical male secondary sex characteristics. Control has nothing to do with it.

Right, and nobody is disputing you on this.

Hey, that’s great. And nobody’s arguing with you about that.

But those are two separate issues. Tig doesn’t want Amy to speak for her? Cool.

Do you find the idea of women “looking masculine” so confusing in the trans/bathroom articles too? Our culture's traditional gender roles are pretty ubiquitous, it’s hard to imagine anyone being genuinely confused by this.

“(Keep in mind that Turner fled the scene of the crime on foot after two passing cyclists witnessed the attack and stopped it.)”

Yes, because babies are punishment for immoral behaviour. Jackass.

Sure can! Just ask Michael Vick.

Well, I don’t know what else I was expecting.

I was perfectly happy to ignore Simmons going forward, but Bill Simmons, feminist? This I have to see.

I don’t know if you’re being genuine, but if you are: too many whiny fedora-wearers have changed the meaning of Friend Zone from “unrequited love” to “how bitches punish Nice Guys.”

#WellActually I don’t think they’d make the playoffs. These guys are much less effective when they’re the focus of the defense. It’s like when the backup QB has a good half because the defense hasn’t game-planned for his playing style.

If it's any consolation, that "sadly" tripped me up for a moment too.

Is there a worse hypothetical messenger for this than Doug Stanhope? Charlie Sheen? OJ?

"...[O]r if Steven Adams now has a trained cobra living in his shorts to bite any feet that come near."

Of course. Always.

Honey, is that you?!

Now is he more or less of a monster than Blake Lively quoting song lyrics? I'm trying to get a sense of scale here.

My bad. I didn’t realize you were merely making the very important distinction between pre-emptive attacks and courts of law in an Internet comment thread about Odor and Bautista, and not discussing the thing that you were insulting other posters for discussing. Because I take these things too seriously.

The slide is only “the first shot” if you went to The She Was Asking For It School of Law.