Like most members of an establishment, you are mistaking a lack of endorsement with a furious condemnation. So tell me, what part of that statement is inaccurate? Because the attitude that "It's fine if you just ignore the hate groups" is the position taken by people who have the luxury of ignoring hate groups.

I’ll bet he’s not even a Raiders fan, just a Raiders Hat fan. I’m not even fully on board with the Fieri-hate (I think it’s gone too far), but he does seem like the ultimate Raiders Hat fan.

I completely agree! Now I’m going to wedge my pet peeve in here, but y’all are welcome to ignore it: this is why “Dadbod” is not, and has never been, a thing. Take a look at ads, magazine covers, and tv shows. The only exceptions to ripped abs are comedians and punch lines. And if you aren’t ripped, you’d better be…

At least you realize it. Most people don't think it through even that far.

Goddammit.

That is suspicious. Is he Facebook friends with Jared?

‘Round these parts we spell Kailyn either “Andrea” or “Jessica”.

First, great article! Loved reading it. Funny and real and great.

I appreciate both the over-the-top photo snark and the reasonable engagement ring.

"As I write this, my two young sons are running around a grassy field where I can watch them. They have balloons stuffed under their shirts; they are crashing into each other with their big balloon-bellies and making weird monster noises and giggling so hard they can’t speak; the sun is in their hair and their eyes…

Very true! But that’s not from participation trophies, that’s from never being held accountable.

I don’t know how I missed that. Yes, he was pretty solid in 2011.

Tampa Bay: 20/27, 185 yds, 2 TD, 0 INT
Dallas: 12/18, 163 yds, 2 TD, 0 INT
Green Bay: 21/40, 253 yds, 0 TD, 0 INT
New England: 19/34, 255 yds, 2 TD, 1 INT

The defense got healthy at the end of the season, then held opposing teams to 14, 17, 20, and 14 points. By your own standard, when Eli was their best player they went 9-7. When their defense was healthy they won the Super Bowl. Eli continuing to get the credit just exposes a plague of lazy analysis.

The 2007 NYG held one of the best offenses in the history of the game to 14 points with dominant D Line play from Strahan, Justin Tuck, and Osi Umenyiora. But sure, Eli won that Super Bowl. Let's go with that.

I agree with you, but I also know the exception: finding the hair too late. I was eating a burger on vacation once, stopped mid-chew, and slowly pulled about 8 inches of brown hair out of my mouth.

I don’t drink like that anymore, so can anyone tell me the difference between Fireball and Goldschlager?

+1 Poe folk

If I had to guess, I would say that he would tell you that it’s just theatrical, a shocking dramatic device used to set the mood. I think he sees it in a vacuum.

That shit after Loose Cannons is ridiculous. Totally pointless.