Wait, wait, wait. What is wrong with gladiator sandals? I’m still rocking a Target pair from the last time they were popular.

My fun Subway story: "I want a meatball sub please." Them: "Would you like meatballs?"

If this clip is representative of the second one, I won’t see a third one. That riff off is terrible. Plus, that’s not how that works. They aren’t even trying to match up the transition words.

Wait, people still smoke? I guess I’m just old and uncool.

“Some people still prefer as a matter of course to state up front that they are looking for something serious right from the get-go, which is a very good move, all things considered; it eliminates most of the contenders right off the bat.”

Completely beside the point, but if you drive a Mercedes you can pay your damn child support.

Drama WP comes off far too easily for me. I have black eyes by the end of the day. The regular one doesn't do that. Makes no sense.

Drama WP comes off far too easily for me. I have black eyes by the end of the day. The regular one doesn't do that.…

And for some reason Hypnose Drama is superior to Hypnose Drama WP. No clue why the waterproof formula leaves me with raccoon eyes and the regular doesn't .

And for some reason Hypnose Drama is superior to Hypnose Drama WP. No clue why the waterproof formula leaves me with…

I'm far over 21, and have a well stocked bar in my kitchen. My mother still pretends I don't drink, and I still let her. I would love to know what she sees when she looks at that bar. Is it a black sensor bar, is it blurred, or is it just blank?

Now that they’ve built the new international terminal, Atlanta is organized well, just crowded.

Airports that would benefit from any kind of signage:

I had a professor turn in grades two semesters late. He only turned them in at all because someone in the class needed the hours to graduate. His version of protest against a mandatory curve in a 10 person class. He had tenure and was about to retire, so they literally could do nothing to him.

Replace the too big part with petite and southern. I’m a very candid person, people seem to hate that.

My cousin Rod used to run the one at Grandfather Mtn, Stone Mtn, and the Alabama Highland Games.

Not a lot of anti-Scottish sentiment here in the US, and the anti-Irish feelings have pretty much passed. You really need to give us a break on the "actually Scottish" thing. Since we're mostly a country of immigrants, our genetic and cultural heritage is basically a heinz 57 mix of practically everything, so we tend…

That is insanely cheap. Mine was around $300.

We're supposed to be one of the largest, but I've met very few that weren't part of my extended family.

I'm disappointed there aren't any other Douglases around here.

This happened to me during college, in the student section. We ended up leaving the game because of it. That game went into double overtime. I was predictably not sympathetic when block seating took over that particular section.

Hear, hear.