I refuse to believe I’m the only one who thought Joan Chen was Gia Gunn.

Sounds like you and I are on exactly the same page tastewise so let me lay a little of this on you, from one appreciator to another.

Right? Like I’d let her sell me soap, but I wouldn’t let her lather me up. (uh, not that she’s really asking to)

Is there some Scream Queens naming game, like you put together your favorite female fashion icon and your safety school and that’s your SQ name? Asking for a friend.

Hmmm. I don’t live in the US so I’d have to order online. Where would you say they’d fall on someone who’s 5’10” and all tits, tum and torso?

Your pain is my pain, and also I’m fat so my camis, much like my dates, have to able to go both out and down. I’ll spend what I need to spend, but I have very specific needs and no one is meeting them.

That’s okay! I just hope your skin untomato-ed quickly.

Choosing to wrestle a damp, naked guy? Good wedding.

Okay but here’s how it works in my head. Wilmer, after being a monumental poon weasel for lo these many years starts to put the moves on HRC just for a laugh. Clinton, who is supremely unimpressed with his bush league moves decides to call his bluff and gives him the sort of soul cracking, cartilege snapping ride of…

I have a Glamour Shot taken in a rural Virginia mall in 1996 that begs to disagree.

I literally gasped. Not internet literally; literally literally. Poor you.

My two suggestions are wrap your hair at night to preserve the curl integrity and steam your hair. White people have forgotten how to steam their hair, but drag queens (or any wig enthusiast) and people of color with natural hair have been steaming for ages. There are great steamers to be had at a bunch of price…

I am a big proponent of tightlining with shadow and an angle brush. I almost never use gel liner or pencil on my clients anymore. Just dip your brush into the shadow and press, don’t brush, it into your lashline and along your waterline. If you want to build up intensity you can repeat the process. It doesn’t travel…

Hey, it was a supermoon yesterday. You were just being thematically appropriate.

Now I don’t know whether gold eyeshadow is your friend or not, but before you hate yourself too much I want to remind you there is a WORLD of difference between how someone comes across in photos and how someone looks in person. It’s something you see a lot with models. In person, even done up, I’d say 80% of them…

My immediate thought was you might’ve gone for colors that are a bit deeper and heavier than would best suit a small eye. My go-to smokey eye for clients with very small eyes:

Voice of experience here: If you want it for cookies instead of fondant or marzipan, all those cute little presses will only break your heart. I own a ton of cookie presses. The RyCraft ones are probably the most reliable, but the KA ones have ended in heartbreak and quickly improvised marzipan toppings to cookies.

Don’t worry about it being a harbinger of things to come. I found my first three recurring gray hairs at 23. I’m 36 now and have maybe twenty. Sometimes you just get an early bloomer.

There is a cross stitch sign in the legendary Austin dive bar Beerland that says the exact same thing. I’d never seen or heard of one anywhere else, so this is cool.

The Manhuntin’ Project and its sequel The Bombing of Hero SheMale, starring Fat Man, Little Boy and In Hole’a Gay.