It’s almost like his one parent could be a good substitute for his other parent, but ICK...moms can’t throw baseballs!

Also, don’t forget that the Starbucks in Targets are. . . completely open. It’s just a counter, sometimes with a seating area off to the side. You can literally stand there and watch them do every single step along the way: take your order, grab the cup, fill it syrup, pull the espresso shot (if you’re getting one, of…

If cops are going to lose their shit every time they get a wrong/bad fast food order, they’re going to be losing their shit a lot. But given how hard they’re leaning into their own false victimhood, I’m sure this will continue until one of them executes a teenaged fast food employee.

Excellent work. There is no way that’s a tampon. How come no one consults tampon wearers before this shit goes viral?

“Huh, it made a dragon out of the rubble. Cutesy drawing of a dragon juxtaposing the danger, yeah yeah.”

Kid, I’m glad your older brother was looking out for you all these years, but you mom might’ve contributed a little to. She’s right over there, swinging a goddamn sword for you!

This one was sabotaged by its own marketing. It’s far better and deeper than the one-joke, boiler plate animation trash that the trailer made it look like.

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service: “OK, I can deal with that.”

The entire mask topic is entirely non scientifically backed.

See, I kind of thought that was the point. The woman posting on twitter was getting all riled up about “himbo” being ableist and whatever else, when traditionally no one gets up on a soapbox about “bimbo” and all its implications. Why are women vilified for wanting or at least being okay with a pretty, maybe slightly…

“I have stated published medical fact”

The mask recommendation is based on protecting other people from the wearer’s germs, not on protecting the wearer from other people’s germs. So yes, most masks won’t protect you from COVID but that’s not the point. The point is that it is a courtesy to the people around you to wear a mask so that if you contract the…

Hey is your husband single?

I swear to whatever entity you want, my husband is the spitting image of Mummy era Brendan Fraser. Like, people used to walk up and tell him all the time. But with beautiful, soft brown curls. He can also use tools, fix things, and is very nice. He has a Master’s, but is very proud of my PhD and how bright he thinks I…

Best sex I’ve ever had was with a dumb guy. Whether the quality of sex was related to his intelligence is debatable. Causation vs. correlation and whatnot.

Is this the first time Bob The Builder and Goku have been mentioned on the same list? I think it’s time for me to go read some fanfiction. For research.

“It’s that they can no longer pretend that they don’t see it.”

Whenever I discuss the current situation with people and they try to say that the death of George Floyd was the impetus for this sudden “wokeness”, I tell them that were we not in the middle of a pandemic, George Floyd’s death would’ve received the same attention from white people as all of the other deaths of unarmed…

This was one of their very best seasons, and another case where once we got past Restaurant Wars, almost anybody left I would have been fine with winning.

“I can’t be a racist! Look at the Cuban kid I acquired!”