I feel like this paragraph is one of those "magic eye" puzzles... All I see is MINIMINIMINIMINIMINI

Just the tip...

I think at least three within the first 60 seconds or so...

"...fat wagons on stilts..." Describes many of my ex's.

Congrats on having one of the most expensive bowel movements in history.

Quick pricing from Rockauto.com is about $360.

Ran when parked.

mom?

Those bars are actually there just to protect against brush or small limbs. They're supposed to keep them from smacking directly into the windshield, but you're correct, they won't protect against, oh I don't know, flying cows a la Twister.

Bruce Banner?

Double stop sign.

I suppose with this much HP, the front tire is essentially useless.

If you're planning on being tased while doing so, potentially yes. If not, potentially yes.

You blame the attack, I blame World War Z... and pigeons.

So what you're saying is the next time I'm bored and feel like ruining a lot of people's day, all I should do is fall asleep on a train? Noted.

Not to mention the "she should pay" comments. She would end up paying a relatively small deductible and her insurance will pay the rest up to her coverage limits. If the damage was more severe than the limits of her coverage, then he'd have to sue her to get her to cough up the rest. I mean, no. Just no.

Yeah but which razor shaves her face best?

Yeah but which razor shaves her face best?