Beaten by mere seconds. That was my first thought when I read, "I recently earned $1,000 by doing nothing."

"attack with automatic weapons like the AK-47 – is a fact of everyday life for certain customers"

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PIGEONS?!! don't leave me hangin, bro...

Great, now I'm wondering if a black light test in the Focus would reveal enough "donor material" to pay for that dorm room...

This would be better than drunk texting. I would end up at my ex girlfriend's house, banging on the door at 3am, crying and screaming "Kelly, why???!!!! I still love you!"

The Attack on Pearl Harbor was exactly 71 years prior to your purchase of the RR. Coincidence? I think not.

Both. Fear boners are the best boners.

Something tells me she does that a lot.

This guy needs a beer. And a hospital.

I was hoping for a vigilante style ending to this.

10. None

A little more than NSX, not quite Ferrari.

You're not alone. I actually looked at it like three times questioning if the image was the correct one. Something about that angle. It's a Camrollaccordima.

ALL OF THEM

Glad I wasn't the only one that caught that.

I feel like this was narrated by a PGA commentator.

Probably still idling.

Pterodactyl pose. Now you're just messing with me.

I will never be able to see "Andrew P Collins" without saying Andrew Pterodactyl Collins.