This is why I always try to get to know or at least have in sight a doorman/security guard etc when I go out to bars. I had a guy rub up against me in a bar once. I turned around to the doorman nearby and yelled "Hey Greg! This guy thinks he can rest his dick on my leg!" Everyone in the room looked at him and laughed,…

In my mind, having my own children is as necessary as getting a breast lift, but you don't see anyone making up names for fear of the pain of plastic surgery. Some people may prefer to go under the knife, but I'm fine with a push-up bra. Same goes for my own kids vs. adoption.

@femmina: I am 26 and recently learned that I am unusually narrow and long (sadly, seems to be the only part of me with these traits, ha!), if ya dig what I'm saying, and the small cup doesn't work for me either. Your gyn will definitely be able to give you some insight if this is what's going on for you.

Ah fuck, Miami PD. Just let the guy have his kicks for once.

1:44 passed the fuck out, but twitching with high frequency.

@mjanem: Ooh thank you!

@Standish: I wasn't sold on this until you called it Fmail. Bring it on!

But will it have Google docs? Eh? What about Google alerts, calendar, maps, and translate?

@lollilove: I really couldn't agree with you more. I reviewed a film recently called Breaking Upwards about a couple who takes unusual steps in breaking up, and was pretty surprised to read from male reviewers that they found the female lead to be unlikeable. I just thought she was a smart, witty girl in her twenties…

It's a shame that Kim Kardashian probably paid top dollar just so she could look like a furry Michelin man.

I feel like I just read some random girl's Myspace "About Me" section.

Jesus, Marie Claire. First, you run this shambag of a story by Maura Kelly. Then, your own Nina Garcia chooses Gretchen to win Project Runway.

@tomsomething: That's my feeling as well. O'Donnell was doing an impeccable job of digging her own grave. Gawker went to a place that was just unnecessary - and this is coming from a person who reads/comments with regularity.

@Hvedhrungr: <3 you

That's really sweet.

@Amy Minick: Good for you. I've had that conversation with friends before. "Look, I think there's an elephant in the room, so I'm just going to go ahead and call it out, because that elephant is me."

After reading this, I couldn't help but wonder if some of Kelly's "plump" friends have secretly thought that she was, in fact, a size-ist jerk.

@gold_gato: Well...medically speaking, Mike & Molly are both obese.

"Following in the footsteps of Elizabeth Berkeley, Lea Michelle has captured the lead role in Showgirls 2."

So...I wrote this in a "note" on Facebook after I got particularly annoyed with reading these stupid "I like it under the table while the dog is watching" posts. I'm just going to cut and paste.