Is this like when Chamberlain ignored the re-militarization of the Rhineland, or like when he ignored the annexation of the Sudetenland? Or is this more like when Herr Fuhrer ignored the inevitable onslaught of an unforgiving Russian winter. Or...

It’s not that he’s bad and evil, it’s that he’s an asshole. Rooting for Ronaldo is like rooting for Bono.

I always just assumed that Republican Congressmen just watched Starship Troopers and beat off.

Sam Hinkie preferred prostate massages himself. Explains why they didn’t mesh.

Thousands of people standing in a bread line tend to put a strain on concrete surfaces.

I was going to say “much like an aborted fetus,” but that would be in poor taste.

It’s over. You won. It is improper to paddle a dead stallion with a cricket bat.

I’ve been trolling this site for a decade. This is the single greatest response I have ever seen.

#smarmsohard

We don’t hate him because he’s conservative. We hate him because he’s beautiful.

It was Gronk, in the library, with the spanner.

The Ringer plans to start as a newsletter in March before a full site launch later this year.

Counterpoint: Manny Pacquiao is not a cocksucker.

Eh, I’m more of a 2 on 2 kind of guy myself.

The pipes may be pricey, but the poison comes free.

Tip #2: Keep a couple of mil in the account for a new ring.

Just like God intended.

Never works in practice. But in the GAME????

Though seriously, I hope she gets as far away from this asshole as possible.

While mescaline is known to cause visual and auditory hallucinations, it has not been scientifically proven to undo six turnovers.