Tell me about it! I get them in state govt, too. Most bananasnacks defenses.

Mmmmmm, I had a sex dream about Rami last weekend. It was delightful! I wish such happy dreams upon all those who find him yummy. My gift to you this holiday season.

This is my secret hope. This is the irrational hope keeping me alive right now

I love the mom and dad’s reactions when they realize who they’re talking to. It’s pretty cute

Ditto. I also dig the pebbled look in a world of shiny-sleek

For a period of time when I was younger, I was TERRIFIED of my bedroom in the dark. My parents were still married at the time and we (parents, me, and my sister, who is 11 years older than me) were living in a four-bedroom house in the Midwest — one of those new homes built as part of a subdivision on some former…

I shared this a few years ago, but it was in response to someone else’s story, so it may have gotten a little buried... but it’s one of those “true” stories so it’s scary af. 

Robert is the first thing I thought of! Same wavelength, you and I.

Chills! I got chills from Michelle Obama! She is my hero. And not just for this beautifully crafted shade. She makes me feel like my heart is getting a hug.

Oh I have MISSED you Bobby. One week without you was too long

Ugh Selfie, yes! Worst. Title. Ever. Killed it even began. But it got so good.

My coming down with a cold meal is when I crave OJ from a carton and an egg and cheese bagel sandwich! I've gotta try the lays / OJ combo

Oh no! I thought I had come far in my shade studies but I haven’t :( My instinct was that Hillary’s tweet started as shade but became not-shade once she mentioned trump by name. Guess it's back to studying for me!

I’d watch the shit out of this. A+

Sublime. 40 oz to freedom. Yup, it was the nineties.

This is beatiful. Everything is coming into focus. My own journey took me from Lochte believer, to thinking he was robbed while drunk af, to thinking Brazil was angry at him for not remembering details of the robbery bc he was drunk af, to thinking he's a dumbass trying to use a cover story, to thinking he’s a fully…

Hope it was their tight, tight swimwear. Even the caps! ;)

hmmmm ... I wonder... What if they got into a drunk fight, got home, couldn’t find their money (bc they spent it all but couldn’t remember, on account of being so drunk), but they remember the fight, and so they conclude they MUST have been robbed it's the only possible explanation ???

So, wait... Still a robbery happened, but they were drunk and disorderly? (Does that mean Brazil is victim blaming now?) Or are they saying robbery didn’t happen at all?

I regret that I have but one star to give you