For some reason, looking at their faces and imagining them sitting on their beige or dark blue couch, talking about gay marriage with shaking heads and being like, “We gotta do something about this!” and then coming up with this idea and getting super stoked about it like it’s really going to make a difference, and…

Someone please take twitter away from Zach Braff and remind him that he not funny.

god its been all over reddit today. i can’t even escape it in my normal, non-awful subreddits.

Harassing someone in response to accusations of harassment is sort of like threatening violence against women game developers in response to accusations of threatening violence against women in games. If nothing else, they are consistent.

I stomp over to the floral section, which is near the bakery, grab two dozen roses, and yell to the manager “I’m walking out of here with these, I’m not paying, and you useless cunts know why”.

The problem is youths.

“I don’t condone racism but...”

His eternal weepy face is too hard to capture

kit harrington’s face throughout this segment >>>>>

Something tells me I'm going to get some weird looks when I ask to see the "plus sized mechanic" later when I go get my oil changed.

Can we go with Model or Supermodel who happens to be plus sized? I always feel like the focus is on the fact they are plus sized. Basically “here is a big person and here is what they do for a living” I have never met a person that described themselves as a PLUS sized Cardiologist.

Your use of abbreviations is so... occasional.

chance that this vender also sells something with the word ‘apothecary’ in the title: 100%

Sometimes a rolled up hundred dollar bill just isn’t fancy enough.

To be fair, she did say she was on mushrooms so she could be referring to the actual dinosaur.

I wonder if she listens to William Joel.

Now, now. Her pregnancy will be different. It will be sacred.

Maybe this is because I grew up as A Poor but the whole concept of wedding registries seems kind of weird to me. I mean I realize people do this all the time so it’s technically normal, but I just can’t wrap my mind around it.

if she will get pregnant, will she fire herself??