We will sit on the front porch of the general store, sipping our lemonade with mint leaves, rocking gently in the jasmine-scented breeze, as our great-grandchildren gather 'round our feet and beg to hear again the great epic, The Asseid.

Where do we do that ? I'm good will hunting.

WELL THERES NOT A LOT OF TIME LEFT FOR YOU TO LOVE ME BECAUSE WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE IF DIPHTHERIA OR SOMETHING

GOD ISIS IS JUST GOING TO FUCK THIS SHIT ALL UP NOW ALL THESE FUCKNUTS ARE GOING TO BE LIKE WELL IF ISIS DID IT IT IS BAD

UP IS DOWN BLACK IS WHITE CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD ANYMORE

I like Stacey Dash more when she used to only say lines other people wrote for her.

We need a similar analysis for Warehouse 13's Myka and H. G. Wells

I am closing in on 50 and have never understood the appeal of this movie. I always hoped for a sequel set five years down the road. Just picture the couple dining at the club. The Mrs. thinks oh I will order the escargot to remind him of when our love was new. And hahaha I will let the buttery shell pop into the air.…

do i get to tell a snotbag shop owner BIG MISTAKE. HUGE. or no

For 100,000$ you all can win a vacation package to win your Snacktastic Dreams. Don't discount them. I've posted a lot of things on kinja and let me tell you, it's a fantasy life.

100k to get almost raped by george costanza? no thanks.

Does the personal shopping consultation include a Big Mistake moment, or is the "Don't Judge a Hooker by her Cover" package extra?

Do you also get to go to a boutique on Rodeo Dr. and let some bitch treat you poorly?

The most insulting part of this is that I have to supply my own love interest.

KNOWING EVAN STONE IS EXACTLY LIKE I EXPECTED IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME

Uhm. I could have a thousand kit kats for what my computer cost but I still need my fucking computer to do my work every day (so I can buy kit kats).

I have been waiting all my life for this. Hence the profile pic.

About two years back, deathvalleyconsort and I went to a friend's birthday party dressed as Daria and Trent. At a party of 30 people, 2 people knew who we were. In that moment, I wasn't just dressed as Daria, I became Daria. And, that party became my Brittany.

Is "I'm all sex positive and all, but..." the new "I'm not a racist, but..."? Cause if not, you just made it happen.