I’m still not sure how this has anything to do with Brad Pitt, can we please stay on task? i know you’re new to Jezebel but here we like to focus on things that things that matter. this isn’t Gawker 2 with makeup tips. i really just want to see pictures of people’s cats

I read this while eating chicken nuggets on the couch. I feel pretty good about that choice.

The problem is that the Subscribe and Save prices are fluctuating and you’re not locked into a set rate each month. You could get a tiny discount up front, but end up paying just as much or more later.

The problem is that the Subscribe and Save prices are fluctuating and you’re not locked into a set rate each month.…

Trump and his side-piece, photographed after a recent rally.

My grandmother said childbirth was “like shitting a grand piano. With the lid up.” Grandma was right

I was already just clinging to life with this comment. But “pet a cat backwards” produced this gem.

I am due in June, and reading through this has me feeling lucky so far. Found some GREAT dark wash maternity jeans at goodwill, where I have made it a point to troll every time, long before I need them.

Thank you. It’s nice to hear from regular gun owners who are also just plain old neighbors.

Oh em gee. I am always telling my students that they’ve got to toss a sentence because it’s a word salad. No wonder they’ve been giving me some serious side-eye.

That excerpt from her book. Who wants to toss her...

Disciple I bless you for your loyalty

Ted Cruz reminding you that the GOP is stuck in the past with “vending machine” talk. Jeepers Cruz.

It’s the vacant eyes and smiling face of submission.

His asshole must be wide enough to run a Mack truck through it with all the shit he spews out.

i believe what he is saying is that god sent the iceburg to punish man for transitioning from an agrarian economy to a manufacturing economy

No but guys! This is important. If my marriage license hadn’t specified “bride” and “groom” how would we have known which is which?