Well, a few Ben Carson books are on sale.

Well, a few Ben Carson books are on sale.

She is amazingly talented. And amazingly talon-ed.

That’s an ANGEL. I want Mariah to actually be God. And every time she sees a manger scene she’s like “how did you guys get ahold of the newborn pics we took of my son in the hospital”. And she occasionally smites people. And also she's Santa Claus.

Agreed! My husband and I were long distance for years before getting married (different colleges, then law school across the country for me). He now has a job that keeps him away 16-18 nights each month and I work in a male-dominated field. If we couldn’t socialize with opposite-sex coworkers, we would be pretty…

You are 100% correct on the long distance thing teaching you a lot. We spent 2 and a half years living in different countries. We had been together for a good number of years when that happened but it change the entire dynamic of our relationship. Things happened and I brought someone around who interjected himself…

Oh, that is a good idea! I am going to keep that in mind.

Oh, that is a good idea! I am going to keep that in mind.

I wonder if it was even your mom. I had a similar experience when I was in kindergarten and it’s never left my mind. My mom worked crazy shifts when I was little and we lived with my grandma, my dad and my sister. Sometimes my mom or grandma would get me up and ready for school depending on who was available.

I love Miracle of 34th Street so much, and she is such a great, cynical business woman in it. “Susan, I speak French, but that doesn’t make me Joan of Arc!”

I don’t know - it’s like looking at a Bratz Doll.

Confession: My boyfriend laughed and walked out of the room when I had them on. I'm NOT HAPPY about that.

I can’t stop looking at them. They’re my first pair of designer heels, and they’re the only pair in this color that Nordstrom has received in the country.

“Nobody I know dresses like that.”

Same. When I was in high school I used to giggle when people misspelled words. Then we had a spelling bee and I misspelled “waffle”.

“Hey, parents who lost kids to guns, and you other communists who care about that, what you don’t understand is that your kid’s death was something that happened to YOU, while the possibility of me losing my gun is something that would happen to ME. So. Big difference.”

I have realized that I still have a pair that I bought years ago. Being from Maine, I just have picked up alot of stuff there when I visited my mom. I’m so excited that I had inadvertedly become fashionable.

Perfect for trips to the liquor store before you curl up on your couch to watch Netflix, get real drunk alone and avoid leaving the house from December-March.

How can we not blame Planned Parenthood!

You can’t even dyke right!

Seriously. The only way I could have had my mom’s dress in my wedding would have been to fashion a hand puppet and dress it up.

Yeah, my husband was away on military business last year when I decided to stay up all night reading these. Then I had to pee and had to hold it until the sun came up. I refused to even look around my room that night. But damn if I wasn't glued to my iphone anyway.