You think? I don't. Those sound cool! Besides, you're too self-aware to be pretentious.

You could give them different numbers? I dunno.

Eli's Got 2 don't want 2 Elis.

Know why Donald Sterling hates Magic Johnson? Because he has KitchenAids.

How could I miss that? Let's try John Rocker's No. 7 Train Hoagie Stop.

Potential shop vendors include Bob Horner's Horndogs, Wifebeaters: A Bobby Cox Men's Boutique and Jason Heyward's Walk-In Clinic.

Even fewer care than take it seriously.

The height of ego. Please, tell James this is not about him.

Retch your guts! Retch your guts! Drop to your knees and barf like nuts!

Me and Big Papi got big problems with the official scorer.

Scorer ruled that an error. Not an official AB.

Thank you. Always good to get a hit that first AB.

Is a poor joke still a joke?

Good to see Westbrook got Durant's back.

I may be oversimplifying this, but the exact same thing happened at my house the other day. In the kitchen. When I scrambled a couple eggs in a bowl. Only, the music wasn't so dramatic.

Uh huh! And, he went for 50 three straight playoff games. He was great, albeit for a fairly short time.

Yeah, well, there's no denying that. Jordan was a defensive demon. King was a true scorer. A great basketball era, regardless.

Was it 2OT? Impressive knowledge on your part! Even more impressive than James' 49 was some of Bernard King's work back then.

Oh, it was. The thing about Jordan's 63, which I watched, required overtime. Getting 49 in regulation is pretty close.

Can this technology be used to determine if Pierre McGuire and his personality are ever in the same building?