So are we going to just gloss over how the first step is "make crepes" like it is easier than spreading soft butter on toast? Because these sound delicious, but they are likely to end up as quesadillas in the Lizardo household.

 no one Vikes that

To claim that women were put into mental asylums for reading books in the late 19th century is a little bit absurd, considering that most of the publishing industry at the time was directed towards its huge female readership base. A sympathetic Henry James short story at the time, probably written for a woman’s…

I won’t miss Cooking Light. However, I will pour out a little cognac (down my throat) when Saveur and Food and Wine bite the dust.

I’ll give you one on the condition it has to be delivered via overhand throw.

I do not currently own a potato and I am upset by this. 

That’s what I call my crotch in my head, i.e. “my cooch is totally sweaty right now”. Having someone try to seduce me by using that word is just HILARIOUS. And gross. Less creative than cooter or hairy clam I guess.

That’s not even the best breakfast sandwich at McDonalds. I order the sausage biscuit with egg and add cheese. Biscuits > English muffins. 

Note: my review copy of the game was the fancy Anniversary Edition that came with 100,000 VC baked-in, so I could instantly bump my guy up to an overall rating of 75, which let me cruise through 2K19's lengthy prelude section against Chinese and G-League teams. This was also helpful because it let me get a better…

One of my favorite details in Spotlight was how well the costumers nailed reporters’ completely unattractive wardrobes.

Cool story, bro.

why didn’t you tell us this earlier, zukka 

Way to bury the lede. Chicken fingers and ranch dressing? I don’t know if you are history’s greatest monster or genius.

This is, beat for beat, a reimagining  of The Fellowship of the Ring except for the fact that Samwise managed to find honey mustard. 

Asking servers to tell people to put away their phones sounds like a great way to cut into their tips. Fuck off, restaurants that are doing this.

Will you also get to deal with Nazis Magneto-style?

I am the Rock, I’m on an Island.

Okay, but what if, and stay with me here, what if the zombie sex slave could ALSO make brownies?

Later, the GOP tweeted out a sketch of Ted Cruz when he was a hottie.