We’re not paying him $5 million to define homecoming, we’re paying him $5 million to beat Michigan St, Penn St, and Ohio St.

I don’t want to go all 7th grade sex-ed on you but gestation for humans is not nine months. It’s closer to 40 weeks.

The most disappointing phrase in this story: “Show handicappers”

It’s blurred out because it was a pussy slide into home.

Hmm, perhaps it would be helpful if the concourse could enumerate the times when it is okay to throw our legal system out the window? Or what we are allowed to steal in times like this?