Super glad I’m not the only one whose mind went to the wrong diaphragm.

They are quite useful as slammers for pogs.

As a Stephen King fan, the only question I ever want to ask the man is ‘Why did you decide that the way to defeat evil was a child gang bang? Why?’

I don’t think the issue is so much what he said, but rather that he gained so much publicity in doing so. A secretive cult like Christianity hates the spotlight and that’s why most of us have never heard of it.

If you ever want to learn how to put on fake eyelashes go to a MAC cosmetics counter for a lesson.

Is this where I say I’ve never heard of half these people? I’m actually astonished how many I do know. Paris Jackson’s look was my top pick, followed by Millie Bobby. Everything else was rather dull. Amber Rose looks 100x better without hair.

And that lovely shade of red lipstick she’s wearing ...

I’m taking a biochem course now that has a ridiculously offensive textbook, the most recent edition of which (I’m reading) was published in 2012, so they should know better.

Listen y’all, the most important advice on here is that if you craft you need that JoAnn’s app. The coupons are off the chain and I don’t buy anything full price at that bitch no mo’!

They voted for a guy who shits on people they hate.

I love reading on itchy grass, holding a cup high wearing a crown of flowers.

Reading about Emmy’s fight to get equal pay on Shameless is what lead me to start watching it in the first place, and I’m so glad I did! I devoured that show faster than any other show I’ve ever binged watched. Can’t wait for the next season! It is so, so good. She absolutely deserved to get that money.

OK, new rule: any sitting government official who answers ‘I can’t recall’ to any question about critical meetings they had under 6 months ago they had should be removed from office, because they are either a liar or have mental issues that disqualify them.

I know people wil say I’m exaggerating, but it’s my firm belief that it’s this kind of thing that lay the grounds for normalizing victim-blaming in rape.

High school me would just have just said fuck it and chucked the bra. If you thought the straps were distracting wait until you see these G’s sway.

With a name like War Machine, who could have predicted this? Should have gone with Peace Machine or Love Machine or Snuggle Machine.