Thanks for the advice we didn’t ask for, brochacho. Really.

*hearty laugh*

Yes. AMERICA FIRST

I will never not find that funny.

I take great joy in knowing that Trump can fire director after director, disrupt special prosecutors, and play at all kinds of fuckery but...

The thing is, every time Trump tweets something stupid or says something stupid in an interview (which is to say: every time), Mueller heaves an exasperated sigh, pulls out his legal pad, jots something down, gets on the phone, and asks, “Do we have an agent who can cover this? Add it to the roster.”

As a former native Californian myself (born there! 33 years! represent! blarg blarg) who lived through the Northridge quake, I’m wondering how well that place will hold up to another pogostick event like that quake. Which wasn’t even that bad, apparently.

That is the point. Contrary to what you might believe, not all women are consumed with the “Oh, noes, what will menz think of me?” when they make a major or even minor change to their appearance. Sometimes they do things just because...they want to? You know, like people do.

Even colder plot twist:

Fine for them. They can think whatever they want. I didn’t get my tattoos, piercings, funky hair colors, or anything else for other men. I do it please myself. I know that’s hard to follow and even harder to swallow, but the sooner you get around the notion that womenfolk don’t always do things for your express…

And pissing off anyone who isn’t a dyed in the wool, redblooded, true ‘murikan (preferably white, Christian, male, and from the South). Because reasons reasons payback reasons.

Oh, yes, gay folks are just the woooorst. Wanting marriage and to live their lives in peace and maybe adopt children. I mean, how fucking dare they demand to be treated as equal human beings? The very notion! /rocks indignantly in rocking chair, muttering MAGA over and over/

Remember, the only thing they care about is pissing off liberals in return for the perceived injustices they have suffered at the hands of bitches, brown people, and fags*.

I miscarried at roughly 11 weeks. Fortunately I was able to escape a D&C. But hey, no one knows how to perform a D&C, so you’ll either get rid of that pesky dead baby or die if it stays inside, who cares, right? I mean, it’s bad enough our baby died, but to have to go home and wrestle with the potentiality that I…

Americans don’t want shit pay and shit jobs. That’s for brown people.

pour me a shot, I’m done.

Mine was $200 back in 1996, my mother in law bought it for me at Macy’s because she was aghast that I was going to wear some $20 thing I got a few months before. But some people want to spend a lot of money on their wedding, and I don’t judge that shit.

Well, if nothing else, Jon Snow did allow the surviving members of the Karstarks and the...I forget...to reaffirm their allegiance to the North and maintain their lands and castles. Sansa was like NOOO JUST BURN THEM OUT AND TAKE THEIR SHIT. So Jon is being somewhat the voice of reason here.

Five carrot sticks? I imagine he cut Melania down to three carrot sticks after going on and on about how fantastic Brigitte Macron’s figure was. You know, like judging show horses or FFA pigs.

Or people who reinforce the notion that “skinny is best” even though you’re edging into scrawny territory. The only respite I got from not eating at all was chewing and spitting. Once in a while, I’d “permit” myself a swallow instead of spitting it out. On the occasions where I had to appear to eat, I’d wait an…