No shit. At this point, I can either hope a cab will come in an hour, or maybe two, or maybe never because when I need an Uber, I’m shitfuck drinking, wearing questionable clothing, and in no mood to stand on a street corner. That or the inevitable coin flip of which one of us gets to be the DD.

As well as the flip side, The Regulators. The book I bought had both in one both, you literally flipped it over. Tak-ah-la!

I’ve read literally all of his books, some several times.

MisterDisco has a leather trench coat from the 90s. I wear it to fetish events so I don’t freak out the Uber driver with my outfit. It definitely garners some double-takes.

My MIL was instructional in upping my Hochschule Deutsch to a little more conversational level. Instead of saying “Wir sind um das Haus gehen” or whatever, because I was cobbling it together, it was “Wir gehen um das Haus” instead. In school, they taught us to put the verb at the end, but she dismissed it as “old…

My point exactly. And there’s no rhyme or reason to masculine, feminine, or neuter. Die Katze, Der Hund, Das Haus!

In German class, we used to singsong der/die/das/die/den/die, over and over.

And when he is fact-checked and the media comes up with a provable lie, his supporters scream FAKE NEWS over and over.

Your ten year old, my eight year old. It’s appalling, isn’t it?

And that’s just it. There’s so much cray flying around that unless something really major happens, we’re all just like “Huh, more idiocy coming from DC.” And I say that as a resident of the greater DC area.

For some folks, nothing is more painful than admitting you were wrong, and they will go to some extreme lengths to avoid just that.

His voters are a bunch of brain dead numb nuts who couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Living just outside of DC, I’m equally as fucked. High as a kite and hopefully dead quick.

That “Company is Coming” video throws my kids into fits because it is so apt.

I read somewhere, a long time ago, that men are good at big one-time tasks (like cleaning out the garage) but suck at the cyclical maintenance tasks (like taking out the trash or putting a new toilet paper roll on the spindle). I can’t remember what the reasoning was, but it was something along the lines of “that’s a…

“Hey, MiL, feel free to come over and clean my house any time you want if it’s not up to your standards. Otherwise, shut your pie hole.”

Mine does the exact opposite, or maybe not opposite, but totally different. He’ll use a bajillion gallons of boiling hot water to sanitize every dish and glass and piece of silverware in the sink...and then leave it all in the sink.

What is that? WHY is that? Sit the fuck down already. Most men are sloppy, lazy pissers and get it everywhere, no matter how awesome they think their aim might be. Sitting down eliminates that entire problem, along with the problem of my ass landing in cold water when I stagger in at 0300, half asleep to pee.

As mean as it is, Numbah One Son (now 18), does the dishes every night. Sometimes he carries heavy things, pushes stuff over, relocates spiders, helps me with moving boxes (still! after six months! damn!) or whatever else I ask him to do. He can cook simple things, folds and puts away his own laundry, vacuums the…

MisterDisco learned not to ask that question.