Jesus christ, it’s like they’re just waiting to pounce and declare some version of Pinkham’s Law. It’s like a fucked up game of Who Gets To Be The First Asshole?™

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, “I drank what?”

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT STUFF CALLED SO I NEVER EVER EVER BUY IT

In California, we had cute little black sugar ants and large “Red Ants” that you knew not to fuck with but you kinda could because they weren’t like fast or homicidal or anything. Ants were kind of...benign, in SoCAl.

I JUST SPENT OVER $300 AT ULTA WHY DID YOU TELL ME THIS

OMG ME TOO

I back the excuse.

Totally acceptable for chilling while watching Gumball with the kids!

Nor I! Ordered a full length fishnet bodysuit from Amazon Prime last week!

SO saving that line. “Well, I’m sorry you disagree. May I refer you to Arkell v. Pressdram, final line?” /dies laughing

omg so do I! I thought I was a weirdo for just liking to peruse menus in places I’m not likely to visit!

With rolled Rs! yes!

I’ll admit it - I saw that this was on and briefly considered the potential hilarity of watching the debate with a spouse who’s very, very high on pain meds...and weighed it against having him loadedly rail at the television when the candidates inevitably said something stupid.

I have to wear very specific colors and fabrics of my compression capris and pants because of the amazing “looks like I peed myself” V-shape that inevitably appears after an hour of cardio. Underwear at least gives me a layer between my crotch and my pants and hopefully retards that appearance by a few minutes.

I do love me Betsy Johnson. I don’t care if that makes me a weirdo.

I do love me Betsy Johnson. I don’t care if that makes me a weirdo.

Yes! Bad enough that I have the vague suggestion of tits on my back, but the real chabongas up front are wildly bouncing and waving all about because of this shit!

Yes! Bad enough that I have the vague suggestion of tits on my back, but the real chabongas up front are wildly…

God damn, now I’m hungry. Sounds delicious.

“P.S. Fuck you”

That sports bra, though.

That sports bra, though.

You said that. You had to say that, didn’t you. Just had to put that thought in my head.