Hence my "nothing compares" remark. Fireball is amazing, and I don't even like Red Hots.

Right, that's why they make the cinna-apple Angry Orchard now, because they're trying to cut out the middle man in our quest for pie-tasting drinks. But nothing compares!

Elderflower AO is the shit. A thing of beauty and a joy forever. That being said, when my friend got a keg of regular AO, I had terrible heartburn for about two weeks.

Whoa, I must kick ass at Pinterest because I never ever see that shit. Sweet! Also, your boards sound interesting, what's your user name?

Is it bad that watching this kind of makes me want to get Botox?

Wow, was that really a high school superlative at your school? *boggles*

Milk is food for baby animals. I'm intensely lactose intolerant as an adult. It sucks!

Cheers. The omission of whiskey in this MM still strikes me as egregious.

Honestly, anyone who isn't voting for Xanax just hasn't ever taken it.

I was so scared when I saw the picture and the headline, because to me, she resembles Nina Garcia somewhat and my addled mind thought, "Ugh! Could that even be possible? IS NINA SECRETLY AN EVIL PROCURESS???" Thank goodness the answer was no.

A person would presumably have low blood sugar anyway at that point. It doesn't have to be a mere walk, it can be a *power* walk of shame.

That's why I am so perplexed that Quaaludes is winning! Who the heck does Quaaludes, man? Meanwhile, Ketamine was the drug of choice of James St. James!! The man whose life was fictionalized as follows! (Seth Green's about to take some K out of the oven in this scene and serve it for dinner... curse Youtube for not…

That sounds beautiful and makes me crave warmer weather so that I may also participate in such shenanigans. Most of my absinthe experiences have involved desperation, sitting on extremely cold and tiny kitchen floors, and crying.

I misread the teaser text whilst scrolling quickly through Facebook, and thought that the kit contained a Kit-Kat. Wouldn't that be perfect? "Two for me! NONE FOR YOU... unless it was good!"

I don't want autonomy over my own body. #LiesToldByFemales

I am currently

Petting a bearded

The Wall, a Chick tract. Enjoy.

I love it when people faux-cite the Bible. Please, tell me more about your awesome fanfic interpretations!