My new mantra is:

I recently lost my black demonic void after a fun night out. I ordered a replacement and am doing my best to stay indoors until it is delivered.

That is a pretty lose definition of pants. The look like chaps, maybe?

Baked Alaska is now claiming racism against his Uber driver, because she kicked him out of the car when all he was doing was “sleeping.”
I hope she has a camera.

Maybe after spending a week apart he decided that he didn’t really need her. That he could be both boyfriend and girlfriend to himself and save some money.

Cilantro is pretty vile.

Now I’m going to be singing I’m going to “Alaska” all day long.

Putin in a tiny submarine is my favorite.

It is really hot (and crazy smokey) in the Seattle area right now, so Im going with giant tub.

I was listening to Tour Spiel when the Grand Jury news broke today! I got way to pumped. I just wanted to dance and jump around to “King of the Hill” but I’m at work...

I read this elsewhere and thought that they were making fun of the Pickle letter.
Nope.
This is all just a fucking fuck up mess.
SHS stands in front of the media and cameras to do her job with a look on her face that she is so over having to do her job. I’m not asking her to smile, I am asking her to not be…

Yep - I’ve had that stuff, but I don’t remember it being called Watergate Salad.

Junior and Norbert!

Suffolk PD already tweeted their “omg, we don’t want anything to do with Trump.”

The only people that write like the above on a blog are the ones that are paid to do so, or family.

But what if the real writer is JT Leroy? JT Leroy as Laura Albert writing as Rebecca Blunt?
They must be trying to find someone to play Blunt right now.

56. Chingy, Hate It or Love It
I don’t remember this fella making an album...

I’ve always enjoyed yelling “Charlie Furbush.”

Remember when he said: I alone can fix it.

I do. I remember it clearly.
It’s a shame that so many, include Trump himself, does not remember.

Last night I waa trying to turn my phone volume down, it qaa in my jacket pocket, and somehow dialed the CEO of my company. I quickly hung up, and then he called me back.