1) It’s OTL, which is fairly unimpeachable.

So Goodell wanted to get back at the Pats... by making himself look like he was in their pocket, abusing the powers of his office to protect them?

The only people who knew Cardale Jones was starting were Urban Meyer and Bill Belichick.

Thanks for that.

It was not legal,

Let’s nip this one in the bud: filming opposing teams’ sidelines was only legal from designated areas in the stadium, and the Patriots’ tapes were filmed from outside those areas. So argue over how big a violation it was, but it was technically illegal the whole time.

The butthurt Pats fans are out in force today! "There's nothing new in here!" "It was legal!" "ESPN are liars!"

Do we really want to live in a world where Roger Goodell does not have absolute power over everything?

Glad he’s finally caught a break.

“FUCK!” - Jimmy Garoppolo

The Little League rules require players “strive to win.”

Since when is “Cheney” unpronounceable?

Translation: It sucks, but we’re talking Demme/Streep/Kline here!

Brother, I have been publishing that piece in serial form for months.

Serge Ibaka forgives you for leaving him off this list. He understands that you were literally blinded by his handsomeness and thus unable to recall his beauty when putting this together.

Also worth noting: Larry Fitzgerald’s ass is incredible. I’m surprised you didn’t mention that. My best friend hates football, but if the Cardinals are on, she’ll watch for at least a quarter.

Except all of these guys are lacking good face. They’re either super smooth and girly or straight up ug. Chandler Parsons? I could roast a chicken in the space between his eyes.

Yeah, Twitter, but have you ever read the comments to a YouTube video?

Ryan Seacrest is the OG Triple OG.

Finally, a young man who has read the chart!