He thinks that now he’s prez, they’re pledging allegiance to HIM.

He later kissed a baby, signed it, then threw it into the crowd, mistaking the gasps of shock as applause.

Yes indeed, all that hanging upside down has made him look not a day over eighty. Look at that firm jawline! That black Genghis Kahn hair! The large youthful erection!

I love Hoda too and good on her for adopting but I wish the Today show would quit with the babies-are-the-only-thing-valuable-about-these-women-and-all-women theme. Don’t get me wrong, babies are okay, but just once I wish they’d trot out some Today related person who would say “babies are hard and I kind of wish I…

It’s only blasphemy if you care about Jesus

I seriously don’t even know why she was telling people that she was going in the first place.

“If you don’t like what’s happening in the workplace, go to human resources or leave.”

It’s in part because neither of them is in the upper stratosphere of fame, but also in part because, at best, she left her husband for her castmate.

NO BUT THEM THAR MOOSLIMS IS ALL RAPEY AND EXPLODEY!!!!1!!!1!

SOLID DEFENSE, DUDE. Can’t imagine why people are worried about your treatment of gay folks.

I always thought the President’s travel plans were closely guarded to prevent people from planning shit like assassinations ahead of time, and now that North Korea is testing nuclear weapons, they know where Zaphod Cheetolbrox is going to be every single weekend. Hmmmm.

I didn’t read this post yet because I’m seeing the movie tonight with my 16 yr old son and 12 yr old daughter. I’m a huge fan of this ridiculous series and my son and I have a tradition of shutting down for 48-hours before the newest release and sitting in a dark living room eating pizza, chips, nachos, and candy…

So this just confirms that Trump is definitely bombing North Korea in the next few days to get the media to ignore this, right?

EVERYONE wants to be on Wendy Williams’s show.

I really need Katy to step up her (already pretty good, as seen yesterday) shade game and start dating Hiddles or Harry.

Oh, noes, all Taylor’s chickens are coming home to roost. Katy Perry. Harry Styles. That girl she dissed in 8th grade.

She made Kim Kardashian dress as a couch. I think we can assume she’s entirely that petty.

Katy has strong Met Ball game.

I DID NOT KNOW MY DREAM UNTIL YOU SAID IT FOR ME.

I’d laugh myself to tears if Katy brought Tom Hiddleston as her date.