I was hoping to see lots of before and after photos.

That was my shock on Twitter too. The stans combined with the lack of reality about water searches ie: “Why did you suspend the search overnight?” “Why’s it a recovery after less than 24 hours in the water?” Also those convinced foul play involving the boat rental employee simply because he/she was the last person to…

Slow, echoing clap in an empty room for that headline.

Butter Dish Energy

This is such a low stakes event by tabloid standards. Gwen’s been married (famously in two wedding dresses) and has kids already. Until she went buck wild with the fillers recently she looked great and like herself for a very long time. Any issues she has are career related. Getting married or not to a meh guy is…

who will play the owl?

The real scandal here is that Hunter broke up with Hallie. Does no one respect levirate marriage anymore? 

Watcher in the Woods needs to show up, too.

I was looking forward to watching Something Wicked This Way Comes again.

So are y’all at the AV Club gonna be acting in any solidarity with the Deadspin writers and against shitty management? 

By acclaim, Sorcia McNasty’s story about the haunted truck would go in there, and I’m still going to stand by my contention that the freakiest story I ever read on here was IndianaJoan’s story “911 Calling.”

Anyone remember Zeke The Plumber from that Salute Your Shorts episode?

To be fair, that’s an Australian cow. It’s size is greatly exaggerated by the Mercator projection.

You know what I like? Pillsbury Grands! Flaky Layers biscuits. They are in many ways exactly what they shouldn’t be. But they are also the perfect vehicle for a quick sausage gravy, which let’s face it is like 95% of the reason I ever make biscuits. Toss ‘em in the over, brown some sausage, add flour and milk (or…

Truthfully - I could never fuck a guy named Jared.

...and embroider the words in...hair.

You are a national treasure, now do one about the Bodega startup idiots, please and thank you <3

OMG, you’re like Jezebel’s own Betsy Ross; first stop Etsy—-next stop the Smithsonian!

rapidly devolves into a violent nightmare of cannibalism, cultism, and genocide, gruesomely parodying the narrative of Christianity, from Genesis to the gospels.

It could be much worse than you suspect. He may have about 500 pages worth of sumptuous banquets, elaborate silken brocades, repeated character tics, travel scenes, and florid equivocation, all sprouting adjectives like one of those mushroom farms that comes in a box, without even a single plot point worth mentioning.…